The Art of Losing in Grace
Originally posted on Nov 03, 2021 on medium.com/@shamandao
Photo by Florian Schmetz on Unsplash
I’ve never won nor lost a contest because I’ve never entered any before in my life.
That was until Robert Bigelow’s consciousness contest in January of 2021. A contest that looked for the best available evidence for the Survival of Human Consciousness after Permanent Bodily Death.
Thirteen hundred applications flooded in worldwide. Less than fifteen percent of said applicants were given the go-ahead to submit a 25,000-word essay to provide such evidence. Two hundred and five essays were submitted by the deadline of August 20th, 2021. The winners of a 1.5 million dollar prize money were notified on November 1st as were the non-winners. I was in the latter group.
It’s taken me a day and a half to emotionally process the loss or the learning lessons. From the moment of essay delivery, I felt within my soul the divine alignment of a win. Even my intuitive sisters and family members felt the same. It was all in divine alignment. Then by the last-minute replacement of one word in the essay question, the timelines shifted.
January 2021:
What is the best available evidence for the Survival of Human Consciousness after Permanent Bodily Death?
November 1st, 2021:
What is the best scientific evidence for the Survival of Human Consciousness after Permanent Bodily Death?
The Bigelow Institute revealed the winners this morning here, with over seventy percent of the twenty-nine winners being doctors. I did a quick skim and googling of the names to see that four out of the twenty-nine winners were women. With less than twenty percent of the winners being POC. Most, if not all of the winners were experts in their fields with over fifteen to twenty-plus years of research in consciousness studies.
As a non-doctorate, female person of color with less than seven years of consciousness studies under my belt, I can see the glaring disparity. With that being said, I am beyond honored to be alongside the names of Jeffrey Mishlove Ph.D. and Leo Ruickbie Ph.D. To compete with the world’s top thinkers makes me feel, wow. If wow was an emotion.
Being that this was the first contest I’ve ever entered into and was accepted as a qualified candidate felt magical. To compete in the big leagues has felt surreal. That was a win in itself.
Two days ago I felt sad when I was notified I was not one of the winners. Yesterday I felt low. This morning I feel special.
Maybe my writing was ‘too spiritual,’ or ‘too creative’. Or maybe the contest wasn’t enough or my writing wasn’t scientific enough. Whatever the reason, I feel darned grateful because I’ve never heard of Robert Bigelow or any of these names before I learned of the contest.
Yesterday evening, I had planned to list all the incredible learning lessons from this experience. Because that’s what Quora recommended after I googled, how to handle a contest loss.
Yet, over my morning coffee, I’d love to list them with you because there was no loss, only a massive tangible and intangible return of the investment of my time, energy and focus over these last four months.
When one door closes, another quantum door opens in the hidden worlds, waiting to manifest in this realm.
The most incredible and insightful gain came yesterday when I felt low and sad. This is when my tribe showed up from all over the world. From the south of France to Kosovo, to California, Alaska, Texas, and everywhere in between. The inspiring words of reassurance of who I am, what I have accomplished, and what is around the corner for me lifted me up. How each one reminded me of how much they loved and honored me. How I am a winner in their eyes. When my Mom called to joke in the best manner she could.
It was in these moments that defined me as each one of these interactions reflected my character. Not a contest where I could have mistaken my value by my performance. I loved how my award-winning interior design friend in the south of France retold the story of the one time she lost in a design contest in her twenties. We’re now in our forties.
My loving community and support team I’ve built over the last few decades is where I feel the most accomplished. They remind me that I am always winning. Here are some of the other successes which materialized because of this contest and experience:
I wouldn’t have been able to state who I am, what I’ve done in the last six years with such confidence and ease if it wasn’t for this contest. Which forced me to clarify what I have done to bring clarity to not only myself but now for others.
I went from student to teacher once my personal dissertation was completed, which in itself was a huge deal.
I went from less than one thousand followers across my social media platforms to almost forty thousand in less than two months. All this is due to the clarified teachings brought forth from this essay.
I’m less than thirty thousand views away from one million views across all my videos, articles, and posts.
I went viral.
I learned to write using impartial language from subjective to objective.
I am now able to combine this research paper with my novella, Holy Sage for the Soul, and re-publish it as a novel at the beginning of 2022. Where I will begin the process of manifesting the perfect publishing agent to pitch my book to not only publishing houses but also movie studios.
My colleague in Alaska said it best yesterday, “This is not an obstruction in your flow, but only a bend in the river.”
It would only be an obstruction if I stayed in this spot to linger. It could be a lingering space of sadness that could lead to depression but the most magnificent thing about life is that we must flow on.
Each of the lessons learned was in preparation for the next bigger bend down the river. One where I will be more prepared from this experience. That’s what life is; a series of experiences filled with learning lessons. There are no losses, only lessons gained.